Blistering Secrets.

~~Wednesday, October 24, 2007~~

-8:18 PM

I'm prettymadzie

This is the 3D me.
Make your own,
and we both get Coinz!

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-8:01 PM

Hahaha. Got this one from Ryan. Naaliw ako, ang cute eh. :))

If you plan to make your own Meez, ako yung ilagay niyo na nagrecommend ah. Haha. My username is, prettymadzie ayt? Para marami akong coins. Hahaha. Yay! :)

www.meez.com

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~~Tuesday, October 23, 2007~~

-7:14 AM

This is my clearance report. I passed all my subjects! Yay! *rejoice rejoice*

:))

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~~Monday, October 15, 2007~~

-9:35 PM

Are you with her or all alone tonight.
Are you falling in love by candlelight.
No I, I don't wanna know.
It's time to let go.
And baby all those times I've cried alone.
Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.
No I, don't want this to show.
It's time to let go.

Watching the heavens, from a window where I sit.
But I'm alone this time.
Missing the sound of your laughter inside my heart.
So I'll just close my eyes.
And I never thought it would end like this.
I miss the sweetness of your kiss.
Now someone else is slowly taking my place.
I think about it everyday.

Are you with her or all alone tonight.
Are you falling in love by candlelight.
No I, I don't wanna know.
It's time to let go.
And baby all those times I've cried alone.
Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.
No I, don't want this to show.
It's time to let go.

Now I think about all the times that we shared together.
All of the good and bad.
No, I told you I'm sorry.
If I'm the one who felt cheated.
But I can't keep blaming myself.
Cause every part of me is feeling this.
I can't escape my loneliness.
But I've got to find the strength to say it's okay.
I know this pain will go away.

Are you with her or all alone tonight.
Are you falling in love by candlelight.
No I, I don't wanna know.
It's time to let go.
And baby all those times I've cried alone.
Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.
No I, don't want this to show.
It's time to let go.

When I wore my heart up on my sleeve.
When you're by my honesty.
And maybe that's what made you leave.
Doesn't matter now, baby I'll be fine.

Are you with her or all alone tonight.
Are you falling in love by candlelight.
No I, I don't wanna know.
It's time to let go.
And baby all those times I've cried alone.
Thinking maybe I should call just to see if you're home.
No I, don't want this to show.
It's time to let go.

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~~Thursday, October 11, 2007~~

-11:16 PM

This is our final plate for Advertising Productions. All the shots were taken at our house in Las Piñas.

This one's edited by Jv Jocson. Love it. :)

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-11:02 PM

De La Salle Zobel and De La Salle University's SIMON ATKINS is my ultimate crush! Waaaa. He is sooo hot and handsome. Hahaha.

Can somebody please introduce me to him?? ;)

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-8:39 PM

I haven't had a good sleep for the past few weeks. I've been very busy with plates and other stuffs for our finals. I can literally feel the work load. It's overflowing.. and I can't seem to handle it anymore.

I feel sick.

I feel down.

I feel like I'm gonna die. (seriously.)

So this is the life of a junior college student. It ain't easy and it ain't fun.

When I was in my freshman and sophomore year, I used to party every week. Here and there. But I still managed to keep my grades high. I don't have any failing marks in my record. In short, I did good.

I'm in my junior year now and one more year to go, I'll be graduating. But my hopes of graduating with flying colors is slowly fading away..

Just 2 weeks ago, we had our Advertising Practice Defense with Prof. Aries Estrella. We were asked to make an Advertising Campaign for Coca Cola and my group was the first one to present.

After the presentation, here comes the unexpected..

Prof. Estrella: Let me ask you.. if you see these ads or listen to this radio ad, do you see yourselves in it? Do you see yourselves as losers?! Because it is clearly stated here, COKE IS FOR LOSERS!

You already know your grade. Sit down.

OMFG. We just got a whopping grade of 70% in our Major Presentation. And up until now, I still can't believe it. We worked hard for it but all our efforts didn't pay off. Wtf.

Last wednesday, we had our final exam for Art Appreciation. My groupmates stayed here in the apartment the day before our final exam to have a group study and to finish our Advertising Productions final plate. Prof. Andaya gave us a 16-page reviewer that same day. We have to read 16 pages, all in one night for crying out loud. And we're not even halfway our Advertising Productions plate. We browsed the reviewer but we focused more on the history not on Photography because Prof. Andaya usually discuss the history more.

Wednesday. Final exam day for Art Appreciation. 60 items. We all thought it would be a Multiple Choice. But no. We were wrong. It was an Identification kind of exam.. and it focused more on Photography! Bullsh*t! Right then and there, I know I would fail that exam.

And guess what? I did fail. Many of us did. Only 8 people passed. What a shame. I went out of the classroom shocked. I felt nervous because I am 100% sure that I would get a grade of 5 in my Art Appreciation final grade.

Later that day, Prof. Andaya announced that half of our class would get a failing grade in Art Appreciation. Yes, I am one of them. What a surpirse. My instinct was right.

My clean record has now one failing mark. Wow.

If it is THIS hard now, what more in my senior year?

Can somebody give me a hug? That's what I need now more than anything else. *sniff*

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~~Monday, October 8, 2007~~

-11:22 PM

Everything is so manic lately.

Too much to do. No time to write. No time to sit and think.

I've been nearly impossible to be around recently. I'm not me at all for full moments.. sometimes several in a row.

I tried fixing all of the broken areas.. but I guess all my efforts aren't enough.

I've done a lot of thinking last night but it just made my head and yes.. my heart ache. So I logged off in tears.

Falling down and failing is never an easy thing to go through. It’s something most of us would not want to endure. Even I, my greatest fear is to fail. However deep down inside me, I know that life isn’t as smooth sailing and perfect as I hope it to be and that there will come a day when I will fail and fail when I least expected to.

And when that happens, it’s going to take a hell lot of character and support to get out if this mental blockage. I have to believe that failing is part and parcel of life no matter how painful it is. I have to tell myself that one failure does not define my entire life and there are still a lot of things I can do about it. I'll stand up and bounce back. Come back stronger and better.

I know what to do.

I'm stronger than this.

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-11:20 PM

I think it is natural, that when you are truly in love with somebody, you feel a pain inside. The love, literally hurts and it’s a deep hurt that could be felt throughout.

The kind of pain I am talking about is the kind that comes when you look at that person. I would sit or lay in one corner, throat parched, as I caught a glimpse of what it would feel like to lose him in all sorts of different ways. I think when you reach a certain level of love, it stops becoming a relationship but rather, as cliche as it sounds, becomes a oneness. Two souls intertwined.

While, I don’t think many people have thought about this as much as I have, or to the same extent, I am sure we all have for at least a split second thought about what we’d feel if someone we loved suddenly vanished. It hurts and that’s how you know you are totally in love and there’s no turning back.

It’s funny how I could feel like such a big-hearted person when I think back at how I’d feel this way, but like a cruel judgemental bitch at other times. Some people are lucky to get the pure, loving sides of us, while most deal with the moody, fickle, and seemingly impossible to please jerks.

I guess that’s why so many people say love changes them for the better.

After all, you gotta make every second, every minute and every hour worth it.. before they go.

:((

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-11:16 PM

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it’s a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonality that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an incomprehensible gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN. :)

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-11:10 PM

Question often asked is, "How do I know if I am in love or just infatuated?" Is this relationship worth pursuing, or is it just two people infatuated with one another? Relationships do often begin with infatuation, but healthy ones move on to mature love. Too often what appears to be love is simply infatuation. Here are some ways to know the difference between the two.

Real love edifies. Two people in love seek the best for the other person. Their attitude toward the other is, "How can I help make you everything God ever intended you to be?" The two have found their fulfillment and security in Christ, and as a result, they can securely serve with the other's best interest in mind.

On the other hand, infatuation is selfish and driven by the desire to have your own needs met. "Infatuated love insists upon continual reassurance from the other person. It makes unreasonable demands that stem from possessiveness and insecurity. Charted on paper, it would range from high peaks of certainty to valleys of doubt. Unstable in its duration, infatuation is like a seasonal monsoon; it comes, blows fiercely, and moves on."

Second, love is based on knowledge. One must first get to know the other person over a significant period of time and in many different circumstances. As you see the other person's character strengths and weaknesses, ask yourself, "Do I still feel strongly attracted to him or her?" Try this exercise. When two people are infatuated, what they are often attracted to is an idealized image of the other person.

Third, ask yourself, "If I were blind, would I love this person?" In other words, can I love this person without any physical expression? Is my desire for him or her based on quality of character or just physical attraction? If you can't express your love apart from the physical element, it is not true love. Physical involvement will distort two people's perspective, and it often leads to unwise decisions. Physical involvement can make people feel close, but upon careful examination, the only thing the two may have in common is lust.

Finally, real love endures. Over time, real love grows and matures. Two people in love can wait for God's time, no matter how long it may be. Paul states in 1 Corinthians 13 that love is patient and love always perseveres or is long suffering. True love will endure the tests of time and difficulty. Infatuation is marked by impulsive and emotional decision making. It wants to rush into things before prayer or wise counsel is considered. Driven by insecurity and possessiveness, false love seeks to rush the process of physical intimacy and even marriage. True love, on the other hand, is willing to wait on God's time and allow the other person to grow and become the person God desires him or her to be.

As I conclude, remember this truth: God loves you and desires that your relationships be joyous and meaningful. He will not let you go wrong in the area of dating if you let Him be the Lord of every aspect of your life.

:)

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-11:07 PM

Check out these 100% true kissing facts. Got these from Shout magazine. :))

1. The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.

2. The longest kiss ever was 29 hours long. (woah. think you can beat that?!)

3. 50% of people have their first kiss before they're 14.

4. A passionate kiss uses 34 facial muscles. (what a workout! haha.)

5. You burn 26 calories during a one minute kiss. (bonus!)

6. Our brains have special neurons that help us locate each other's lips in the dark.

7. People with crooked teeth usually kiss better than people with straight teeth. (really, huh.)

8. The scientific name for kissing is philematology. (phew!)

9. Kissing improves your skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay and can even relieve headaches. (so girls, what are you waiting for? grab a guy! hahaha.)

10. Careful where you kiss. In some places, kissing is a crime. It's illegal for a man with moustache in Indiana to 'habitually kiss human beings'. In Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sundays and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger. (wtf?)

mwah*

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-11:03 PM

The problem with men is that they’re stupid. I’m sorry but it’s true. Men in general are not close enough to their emotions to think ahead about how their actions may affect someone else, especially a woman who cares about them. They use their mind to attempt to engineer their emotions in ways that won’t hurt as bad if they are the hurt-er or the hurt-ee, so to speak. Many men (not all, so don't get me wrong) do not have an appreciation of how shared experiences get emotionally translated differently between men and women.

Women, of course, are crazy. Women are so close to their emotions they are at times taken hostage by a number of (at times) irrational (to a man) emotional tidal waves. They make a number of crazy assumptions about how men are supposed to act if they really loved them, really cared about them, etc. We are all guilty of the 'if-then' mistake, but I think women are a bit more susceptible. Like: "If he really loved me, then he would not go clubbing tonight and spend time with me." The level of irrational thought process about his feelings, motivations, fantasies, dreams, wedding colors he prefers are often totally beyond anything men actually think about. It’s nothing personal of course, we just are different.

And yeah, men and women are different. It goes back to biology, to history, to socialization, to culture etc. And that’s okay. What may be true for one is not always true for the other and applying your truth to your partner is another frequent mistake made by both parties. Be wary of that, just because you think it may mean something does not mean that that’s the way it is. What is can be very fuzzy, very grey. A frequent arguement I've heard that's tough to balance is the favorite post-modern New Age co-opted creedo: "Don't tell me I'm wrong, my perception is my reality." Well news flash folks, our perceptions aren't always right. Some Southerners didn't think Africans / African -Americans were worthy of freedom. Some Nazi's didn't think Jews were worthy of living. This was their perception and their reality and they were fucking wrong. Of course, the subjective world of feelings must be respected, but if the lens of our perception that heavily influences our feelings is clouded by our pain and ignorance, etc., we're not seeing things as they are, and that needs to be dealt with.

So, regardless of your gender sexual preference, I believe masculine and feminine issues arise in every relationship, and we need each other to be balanced and progress toward that great pie in the sky, that End Goal and Be All of Reality, that sweetest kiss the Universe has to offer, the very fiber holding reality together, the language of God and Spirit when that great Force chooses to speak.. I’m speaking about love of course. The very thing we all want and need more than anything, the very thing that can stop war and hate and suffering.

Love is the dance and the dance floor. To have it at its purest is to achieve some of the greatest things to achieve in life, but it takes work to have that kind of love, it does not come naturally. Work sucks, but do it anyway.

<3

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-11:02 PM

There are things in life that you can't hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful. When you meet someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross. But what if makin' your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn't really meant to stay, but only destined to make you feel loved and leave you when you've already fallen.

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-11:00 PM

Some things are not meant to be kept forever.. you know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right, and everything you did is unappreciated.

It is wiser to be alone but happy than with somebody who do nothing while you do everything.

I had to let go of what I thought I owned.. it hurts.. yes.. a lot actually. But getting through each day made me realize that the world will just keep on turning.. and I have to continue breathing.. even if he's not around. So I got to move on.. face the world after he stepped on it.. and prove that I can be better than what he used to see in me.

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-10:59 PM

Have you ever felt really deep feelings for someone, and thought that you knew them; but then found out that they are a total different person than you thought they were?

You've been through a lot of things with that someone, and suddenly they change. You thought that you knew the person they were, but you really didn't.

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-10:56 PM

Yay I've got a new blog. :)

I won't be using my Multiply (http://madz19.multiply.com) blog anymore.

So yeah, link me. :))

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