The problem with men is that they’re stupid. I’m sorry but it’s true. Men in general are not close enough to their emotions to think ahead abouthow their actions may affect someone else, especially a woman who cares about them. They use their mind to attempt to engineer their emotions in ways that won’t hurt as bad if they are the hurt-er or the hurt-ee, so to speak. Many men (not all, so don't get me wrong) do not have an appreciation of how shared experiences get emotionally translated differently between men and women.
Women, of course, are crazy. Women are so close to their emotions they are at times taken hostage by a number of (at times) irrational (to a man) emotional tidal waves. They make a number of crazy assumptions about how men are supposed to act if they really loved them, really cared about them, etc. We are all guilty of the 'if-then' mistake, but I think women are a bit more susceptible. Like: "If he really loved me, then he would not go clubbing tonight and spend time with me." The level of irrational thought process about his feelings, motivations, fantasies, dreams, wedding colors he prefers are often totally beyond anything men actually think about. It’s nothing personal of course, we just are different.
And yeah, men and women are different. It goes back to biology, to history, to socialization, to culture etc. And that’s okay. What may be true for one is not always true for the other and applying your truth to your partner is another frequent mistake made by both parties. Be wary of that, just because you think it may mean something does not mean that that’s the way it is. What is can be very fuzzy, very grey. A frequent arguement I've heard that's tough to balance is the favorite post-modern New Age co-opted creedo: "Don't tell me I'm wrong, my perception is my reality." Well news flash folks, our perceptions aren't always right. Some Southerners didn't think Africans / African -Americans were worthy of freedom. Some Nazi's didn't think Jews were worthy of living. This was their perception and their reality and they were fucking wrong. Of course, the subjective world of feelings must be respected, but if the lens of our perception that heavily influences our feelings is clouded by our pain and ignorance, etc., we're not seeing things as they are, and that needs to be dealt with.
So, regardless of your gender sexual preference, I believe masculine and feminine issues arise in every relationship, and we need each other to be balanced and progress toward that great pie in the sky, that End Goal and Be All of Reality, that sweetest kiss the Universe has to offer, the very fiber holding reality together, the language of God and Spirit when that great Force chooses to speak.. I’m speaking about love of course. The very thing we all want and need more than anything, the very thing that can stop war and hate and suffering.
Love is the dance and the dance floor. To have it at its purest is to achieve some of the greatest things to achieve in life, but it takes work to have that kind of love, it does not come naturally. Work sucks, but do it anyway.
